Self-improvement and New Year's resolutions

The trouble with New Year's resolutions is the idea that "I will be perfect from this day forward." That never worked for anybody. On the first day you are not "perfect," the spell is broken.

What does work is to notice at each moment what would be the best (right) thing to do, as near as you are able to tell, and choose to do that at that moment. It sounds so simple (and it isn't), and when you can succeed in doing it, you will succeed in so many other things, too. And when you don't succeed in doing it, it's not like a New Year's resolution where you have broken the chain. There is always a new moment, this one, to try again.

If you really want to turn your life around, in any respect, I can't recommend this book highly enough. Not an easy read, exactly, especially because understanding it requires asking yourself some hard questions and reconsidering all sorts of things about your own life and about your relationships with others, but the truth will set you free, after all. Not really a religious book either (if that's what you're thinking), even though the author is himself religious and what is taught here is basically the core teaching at the center of most of the world's great religions, or at least of Judaism, Christianity, and Buddhism, and probably others, too. A brilliant work that will do more for you, when understood, than any other so-called "self-help" book or than many hours of counseling with most therapists.

Belief and Reality

Belief is the decision to think something is true, whether or not it really is. Believing something is true will not make it true (if it is not already true), but it will align you with reality if it is true, and will steer you away from reality if it is not. Because reality has a way of imposing itself eventually, the wise person who wishes to avoid unnecessary trouble will continually question his or her beliefs, seeking to be guided by what is true, rather than by what s/he believes (what s/he (mis)perceives to be true).

Belief can also be the decision to think something could be made real, or made to come true, even if it is not currently real or true. This is belief as a creative force, rather than belief as a personal (mis)perception of reality. Whether or not something really is, now, does not necessarily mean that reality cannot be changed. Looking for, recognizing, and accepting current truth is better than dealing in fantasies, which will only lead to trouble. However, believing that things could better is better than thinking that reality cannot be improved.

Sometimes, things are just the way they are. Other times, "it has always been this way" does not mean it can't be another way tomorrow, or today.